So….its been quiet a while since I have posted. No real excuses, blogging just fell off my priority list. Life got busy and went on without me realizing how long it had been. I forgot the reasons I started this in the first place. Then I was reading this month’s book club book (only just started so I can’t say if it is good or not) This Road We Traveled by Jane Kirkpatrick and one line really stuck out to me. The granddaughter is asking the grandma to write her autobiography and she says this: “I want to know when trouble found you and how you got out of it. That’ll help me when I get into trouble.”
And it hit me, THAT’S why I do this. To both shine a light into my world and get support for myself (and sometimes to remind myself of things) and to be a window into this world for others. So hopefully, I’ll be back more (once a week is my goal right now). Now I definitely DON’T have an the answers!!! But as I learned a couple weekends ago at an FASD mom’s retreat (which was amazing!) simply sharing your struggles and having someone identify that they too have those struggles lifts the burden a bit. We were never meant to do life alone.
As we are living life day in and day out, sometimes I forget that we have unique challenges. I forget about the FASD, the past trauma stuff and expect the kids to act like “normal” kids. Most of the time they are amazing. They really are great kids. But sometimes my expectations for them are not realistic and I need to keep reminding myself of that at times. Sometimes the stuff that comes with adoption that happens outside of my realm of influence really impact the kids and its hard. From not being able to schedule a visit with bio-siblings in 2 years to reminders of birth family when classmates have similar names to questions about history, and birth family, and “What are they doing now, mom?” that I simply don’t know (and probably won’t ever know the answer to). I tell them this and suggest we pray for them because God knows or write a letter for the Birth mom Box (not sure if i have touched on this at all, maybe I will in an upcoming post. If i don’t, someone remind me!)
I love this crazy little family we have made. I love the fact that while Skye is struggling with sassiness and refusal in school she comes home and we try to solve the problems. I love that it finally feels like it is us AND her fighting against the world as opposed to us fighting her. I love that Cayla is at the stage where she is soaking up every single drop of knowledge that she can. I love that she thinks I know everything and have the answers. I love that Preston is blossoming into a little social butterfly, that during our evening walks multiple kids call his name to say hi. I love that he is confident enough in himself to be the only one clapping at a song at church. I love that Joel and I are working together, learning as we go, and making date nights a priority (even if it is just a Costco run).
I’m sure there will be a LOT of stuff to write about in the coming months with the holidays and such. So hopefully you will hear from me again.