Much to my surprise, no one has come right out and asked us why we choose adoption. People have hinted at infertility, and looked surprise when I deny that that is the case, but never come right out and asked why we are adopting. I know that many have questions, so I figured I would let you know what brought us down this road.
When Joel and I got married (3 years ago already, which is hard to believe somedays) we always planned on waiting a couple of years before having kids. Joel and I dated only 3 weeks before getting engaged and we were engaged for 1.5 years before getting married. We wanted some more time to get to know each other as husband and wife (I am resisting the urge to put a winking face here) and get settled in life, not to mention finishing school and getting on our feet financially.
More quickly then we thought it would, a couple of years passed and we began to talk about kids. It never seemed like the right time and for a while we were living apart for me to finish school so we waited a bit longer. This past summer we moved back in together and began to talk more seriously about looking at a time frame for kids. At this point we did not know if we would be building our family through adoption or birth children. I had always wanted to adopt but at this point we did not know which path we would choose.
As time came to choose a path we still were unsure. It all came down to medical concerns really. No infertility issues (at least not that we know of as we never tried) but I am on medications where I cannot get pregnant. We decided it would be more beneficial to stay on the medications and adopt.
I have OCD and other mental health concerns. Sometimes it is quite severe (like can’t leave the house except to go to work) and sometimes its not. I have tried many different medications and even tried to get off medications all together, but that does not/has not seemed to be a good idea. Off of medications my OCD became pretty severe, and without going into details I would not be a good and effective mother. To try and get pregnant I would need to be off medications for 6 months before trying to get pregnant, the whole pregnancy, as well as while breast-feeding. That is well over a year of un-controlled mental illness. I know I am called to be a mother, but I am called to be a good and effective mother which I cannot do (right now) off of meds. I am continuing to pray for healing or different medication options, but I refuse to put my life on hold due to my mental illness.
So we made a decision to pursue adoption and the longer we get from that decision and closer to reality the more confident I am in the decision. I feel that God has led us down this path and will continue to be with us during this journey.
So for all of you that have wanted to ask but haven’t, here are your answers. I want to be a good mom, which right now I can do through adoption.