Today I found myself wishing that I could talk to my future child, so I did the next best thing, I wrote to them.
I know you don’t yet know me, and I don’t even know your name, but I was thinking of you and wanted you to know that. I thought about you before I even knew you, I prayed for you, and I loved you.
I hope that where ever you are tonight, right now you are happy and well taken care of. I pray that you have food in your belly, clothes on your back, and love filling your heart. I wish I could be with you to make sure that you have all of these things and so much more.
I know that at some point in your life you may not have had all of those things. People charged to take care of you let you down and hurt you. Coming into this new family (your forever family) with this history, you have absolutely no reason to believe me when I say that I will be here for you for the rest of your life. You have had people say that in the past, only to have people leave when things got to hard or inconvenient.
This may sound weird for a future parent to say, but I give you full permission to test me as much as you need to so you can see that I (and Joel) are different. We will still be there after even the worst behavior, still love you and want you in all of OUR (Joel, my, your siblings, and YOUR) home.
You are coming into this family with the memory and attachment to people from before that were important to you, regardless of what they did or did not do, such as birth parents, foster parents, and many more. You may think that once you come home with us you need to cut ties and not think about these people. I don’t know what happens with other peoples’ homes, but not ours. I know that you will struggle with conflicting feelings regarding people from before adoption, so I thought it would be helpful to have a rule in our home. The rule is: “ANYTIME, you EVER want to talk about ANY feeling about ANYONE in your life, from now or in the past, we will make time to chat!”
I am trying so hard to wait patiently for you, but I know that you are out there and need a forever family and I so want you in my life. I don’t just want a child, I want you. I have prayed for you, and God has planned for our lives to meet like this. I hope in this waiting time you are getting everything you are needing and those in your life are helping you with your upcoming move. I know it will be hard but we will be here for you! I am using this time to get things ready for you on this end!
Your future Mom (but call me Katie until you feel comfortable calling my “mom’)
PS: We have puppies!!!! 🙂