Since my last post I have been feeling much better about where we are at in the adoption process. Nothing has actually changed at all (except having another appointment scheduled for July 31st at 8am!) with external things but slowly things are beginning to change with internal things.
First, I have been trusting God for all in my life, but admittedly not EVERYTHING at the same time. I would mix things up. Give God things a and b today, things c and d tomorrow, ect. I hope this makes sense. I do trust God, but I had a habit of giving things a, b, and c to God but keeping things d, e, and f to me since they were REALLY important. Now that’s just not how trusting God works. Now, I am not saying I have this all figured out (I never will) but I am saying that I want to trust God with ALL things (a-z). Since the last post, I have been praying on this and asking for His peace. And then I feel peace, isn’t that amazing?!
Second, my project has been an amazing focus for my energy. I have used up one skein of yarn and made 5 squares. In the end each blanket with have 54 squares, 9 squares length wise and 6 squares width wise. There will be 10 colors in each blanket. When I start to think too much or worry or doubt, I just focus on the blanket. When I worry that my kids are not getting all the love they need right now, or when I wonder what their lives look like now and if they are being taken care of, I focus on the blanket. So far I have 5 squares done, all in the one color displayed below.
I have included some pictures here to display my project. I was feeling creative so I didn’t to just do the normal pictures. Then I remembered I had dogs…
Sammy would not sit still long enough to model, but Ziggy was willing!
Every time I look at the blanket squares, I smile. I am pouring so much love into this project. I have touched each inch of yarn and thought about the kids that will be using this blanket with love and longing to have them home every time I knit. I hope someday, when they get the blanket or when they grow up, they realize how deeply and greatly I loved them and wanted them before I even knew them.