As you may (or may not in a not Katie-centered world) have noticed, I have been absent from blog world for almost 3 weeks now. Despite my absence, there has been a steady stream of views, although I am not ruling out the fact that it may be my mom or other family member coming back day after day. 🙂
Anyways, the reasons for my lack of postings are due to the age old advice: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
It’s not that I have a bunch of NOT nice things to say, I just am very aware that this is a public blog and what I put out there is out there for good. Sparing you the specific details of what is going on, suffice it to say that I am very frustrated with the way the adoption is (or more accurately is NOT progressing). Short story is last Saturday marked 3 months since the last social worker indicated that she had been laid off and there has been
negligible minimal progress made.
I am trying my hardest to put my trust in God and have faith in his timing. Regardless of how long this takes, Joel and I are in it for the long haul. Multiple people have made comments that maybe now is the time to start trying naturally, and with my high frustration level I do not take that comment very well. For anyone reading this with a desire to comment on that please remember adoption is not and has never been a second choice for me. I fully believe that God has called Joel and I to adopt and if God also blesses us with a biological child that is wonderful, but a delay in the adoption process IS NOT a reason to re-evaulate the process/plan!
Anyway, sorry about the tangent. I am tired of fighting to get the social worker everything she needs or even knowing what she needs. I am tired of having to advocate for what I was told I would have MONTHS ago. I am tired of working all day with other people’s kids when I just want to be home with my own. I am tired of knowing that there are kids out there without parents and I am helpless to do anything about it anymore. I am tired and worn out.
Today, and for the past almost 2 months, the adoption process completely sucks ass. Excuse my language but it does. It is long, it is hard, and I am GOOD at paperwork, imagine what it is like for people that are not good with paperwork or are not organized?
If society really wants to do something about the problem of orphans we needs to find a balance between finding safe families (by screening them) and making it easy enough that people can manage through all the crappy read tape and confusion (and people that don’t know what they are doing….or darn it, the not nice slipped out a little bit…)
So I am done being quite and patient. I have learned that I can learn patience in my heart during this time, but that people in the know regarding my paperwork need some pushing. I will be polite (Always) but blunt and very advocating. I may not know who my kids are but right now they have no parent to be their advocate. So I am officially taking on that advocate role, and I truly do not care if by the end of this every social worker in the state hates me!
A song that speaks to how I feel tonight: