Here I am, sitting on my couch the evening after the biggest interview of my life. I have so many thoughts racing around my head that I have little confidence that I can put anything down in a coherent manner but stay with me.
So there we were, Joel and I standing face to face with the one person in the room who knew and spent time with the two girls that we have spent nights praying for and hours thinking about. It was so hard to not just say how much we want to love these girls forever and be their parents.
It’s an odd feeling knowing that she is evaluating us not only in our ability to be parents but as parents for these specific girls up against (at that time) 3 other couples.
I wanted to break down all of the walls I built up during the weeks of waiting to keep my heart from just bursting and begin to feel the excitement that has been building and building (regardless of the walls I built up for that specific reason!)
I wanted to ask all the questions that had run through my head. But then they were all trying to burst forth at once and I couldn’t even think. So I decided if I couldn’t think I best not talk! 🙂
After introductions, the girls’ social worker have us more info on the girl ranging from current behaviors to what their life had been like for them. It was good to just be listening and taking in information (but not having to take notes, our social worker was taking care of that). Joel and I asked questions when they came up and found out a lot about these 2 lovely little girls.
Then it was time for us to talk. Luckily Joel had his white about him and could talk about our lives, families and home. I quieted my racing brain and joined in with points I felt were important. We showed the pictures we specially put together for the interview. And as quickly as it began the interview was over.
I have to admit, as crazy as this sounds, I wanted to stay even longer an just hear more about these girls. What do they like to play? Are they talkative or quiet? I wanted to get every little but of information I could out of the social worker who knows these girls that may be my children. After about 2 minutes of asking every last minute quest to. I could think of I realized we would have to leave.
We left the interview with heavy hearts. The interview itself had went wonderfully and we both felt good about how it went. The reason we left with heavy hearts was now that we had an understanding of not only the girls’ lives but also their birth mom and birth dad.
I came into the foster care adoption journey knowing that the kids would have a tough background and I was prepared for that. What I wasn’t prepared for was how strongly I would feel for what little of the birth parents story I know. I left the interview with VERY mixed feeling, excitement but also sadness at the burdens all of the people involved have to carry. This caught my way off guard.
Update: Now there are only 3 couples (including us!!!!) in the mix. 2 couples already had their interview and the last interview is on Dec 19th. The social worker is then going to take the info on the 3 families to the girls’ therapist and quickly make a decision of one family for the girls from those 3 couples/families.
“Now we wait…..”
That’s what the end of the very last email from our social worker said. I couldn’t help but thinking (out loud) so what were all the other parts?
Joel and I could not be more anxiously excitedly awaiting the news of which family gets picked. Dec. 19th or 20th (dec 20 is also Joel and my 4th wedding anniversary)
However there is still the caveat that the judge has until Jan. 4th to make a final decision regarding termination in parental rights.
So those are the two big dates: Dec 19/20 and Jan 4
I hope that whole thing made sense and I thank everyone who has been praying for us and I ask for more prayers for everyone invoked, especially the girls’ social worker and therapist who have a very difficult and life changing decision to make.