Now that the meeting is done and over with I am a whole ton less anxious! The meeting when AMAZINGLY WELL! But I wouldn’t really be me if I didn’t worry needlessly about things in the future. 🙂
Here are the things that we found out:
- Joel and I are parents!!!!!! The social workers independently decided (ie without talking to each other) NOT to interview the other couple at the same time and move forward with us. If that is not a God thing I do not know what is!
- We have 3 children. A girl age 8, another girl age 5, and a boy age 3. Unfortunately I can’t really put names on the blog until after the adoption is finalized.
- We don’t have pictures of them, but should get them monday or tuesday (and I will be checking my email obsessively those days).
- Our children came from very tough circumstances and have a long way to go on the road to healing and to know that we love them and are committed to them forever.
- We have so many wonderful people behind us, rooting for us, praying for us, and loving us.
- The next things in the process are a meeting with the 8 year old’s therapist and to get in contact with the foster parents. There are 2 sets of foster parents in this case as the 3 siblings are not currently living together. Our home will be the first time they will be living together since the removal from their home.
- There is not a TPR in place right now, but the trial is currently taking place. The placement may be a legal risk one depending on when the judge makes his/her decision.
I can’t even put into words how it feels to be a mom. No my kids are not living with me, no I haven’t met them, and no they actually don’t even know about me yet but regardless of all of those things I am their mom and I love them. I don’t love them the way I will when they are with me, but I love them nonetheless. I am excited and nervous, anxious and at peace. I feel like I am experiencing all the pregnancy hormones, craziness and emotions just condensed into 1 month instead of 9. It is condensed into one month because the kids will be living here full time by the end of september! (That’s the goal at least).
I have to admit I have been a bit crazy this week. I have attempted to find a daycare and reschedule my entire work schedule to fit a preschool schedule. I, in a moment of true insanity, tried to convince my husband to give up the master bedroom to an 8 year old so that all 3 kids could be on the same level. It would have meant us moving to a smaller room where our dressers wouldn’t even fit. After Joel, rightly, said no I broke down about things not being perfect for the kids when the move in.
I have found it to be so hard thinking about how to transition 3 kids into our home. The thought seems overwhelming at times and I am so glad that we are doing this with the help of 2 wonderful social workers. These kids have gone through so much in their short lives, and we heard more details about it today, that I just want to do what I can to make the transition easy, but I have little idea how to do that in a practical way. I know the basics (slow transition, clear expectations, ect), but sometimes that feels like not enough to help the transition. Then it hits me, I have no idea what I am doing and how to be a mom, but I excited to learn. And it is going to be far from perfect, and I know this. The first couple months (probably longer) will be hard but we will be a family for better or worse.
I would love any advice from people wiser than I or those that have walked this path, or both!
For right now I have a happy and peaceful, if not nervous, heart. I am a mom. Not a mom in waiting or anything else, a MOM! And in about a month I will have a huge transition in my life, one that I have been praying for a waiting for. One that we will work through as a family with all the supports we have around us.
Oh, and we will get pictures of our kids soon!!!!!!!