The Meeting (After)

Now that the meeting is done and over with I am a whole ton less anxious! The meeting when AMAZINGLY WELL! But I wouldn’t really be me if I didn’t worry needlessly about things in the future. 🙂

Here are the things that we found out:

  • Joel and I are parents!!!!!! The social workers independently decided (ie without talking to each other) NOT to interview the other couple at the same time and move forward with us. If that is not a God thing I do not know what is!
  • We have 3 children. A girl age 8, another girl age 5, and a boy age 3. Unfortunately I can’t really put names on the blog until after the adoption is finalized.
  • We don’t have pictures of them, but should get them monday or tuesday (and I will be checking my email obsessively those days).
  • Our children came from very tough circumstances and have a long way to go on the road to healing and to know that we love them and are committed to them forever.
  • We have so many wonderful people behind us, rooting for us, praying for us, and loving us.
  • The next things in the process are a meeting with the 8 year old’s therapist and to get in contact with the foster parents. There are 2 sets of foster parents in this case as the 3 siblings are not currently living together. Our home will be the first time they will be living together since the removal from their home.
  • There is not a TPR in place right now, but the trial is currently taking place. The placement may be a legal risk one depending on when the judge makes his/her decision.

I can’t even put into words how it feels to be a mom. No my kids are not living with me, no I haven’t met them, and no they actually don’t even know about me yet but regardless of all of those things I am their mom and I love them. I don’t love them the way I will when they are with me, but I love them nonetheless. I am excited and nervous, anxious and at peace. I feel like I am experiencing all the pregnancy hormones, craziness and emotions just condensed into 1 month instead of 9. It is condensed into one month because the kids will be living here full time by the end of september! (That’s the goal at least).

I have to admit I have been a bit crazy this week. I have attempted to find a daycare and reschedule my entire work schedule to fit a preschool schedule. I, in a moment of true insanity, tried to convince my husband to give up the master bedroom to an 8 year old so that all 3 kids could be on the same level. It would have meant us moving to a smaller room where our dressers wouldn’t even fit. After Joel, rightly, said no I broke down about things not being perfect for the kids when the move in.

I have found it to be so hard thinking about how to transition 3 kids into our home. The thought seems overwhelming at times and I am so glad that we are doing this with the help of 2 wonderful social workers. These kids have gone through so much in their short lives, and we heard more details about it today, that I just want to do what I can to make the transition easy, but I have little idea how to do that in a practical way. I know the basics (slow transition, clear expectations, ect), but sometimes that feels like not enough to help the transition. Then it hits me, I have no idea what I am doing and how to be a mom, but I excited to learn. And it is going to be far from perfect, and I know this. The first couple months (probably longer) will be hard but we will be a family for better or worse.

I would love any advice from people wiser than I or those that have walked this path, or both!

For right now I have a happy and peaceful, if not nervous, heart. I am a mom. Not a mom in waiting or anything else, a MOM! And in about a month I will have a huge transition in my life, one that I have been praying for a waiting for. One that we will work through as a family with all the supports we have around us.

Oh, and we will get pictures of our kids soon!!!!!!!

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12 thoughts on “The Meeting (After)

  1. What wonderful news! That was us one year ago. Still waiting to finalize our sib set of 3. We now have 6 kids, ages 12-16. Whew!
    Love them lots, understand their needs, be patient with, don’t be too hard on yourself. You got this! Happy mom’s day!

    • Thanks for the support!!! It can be a bit intense to expand the family by 3 thats for sure (and they haven’t even moved in yet!) I will work on being patient with myself (a continual struggle for me)

    • Thank you so much! It will definitely be quite an adventure, but wherever God is leading us is where we want to go. And it looks like we are going there with 3 kids!!!

  2. A friend of mine foster adopted five kids recently, so if you wanted to check out her blog it might be helpful. instant2forever.wordPress.com. She is really great! Good luck!

    • Thanks for the tip! I have actually been following her since way back before she adopted when she did foster care. I don’t personally know her, just through blog land!

    • Hehe, you guys talking about me? The WordPress adoption-from-foster-care-blog-family (and adoption in general, really) is a fairly small one – I love seeing comments from other bloggers I follow here and there! Katie, I am so excited for you getting to be a mom and for these kids getting to have a forever family. It won’t be easy, but it will be awesome. And you will know what to do – not every detail every time, but you will know. You’re their mom, God brought you together, and you will know. You’ll know what to ignore till a later date and what to deal with now. Six months in and one of the things we are working on is what size bites are appropriate and how to actually chew our food well. Trust me, this wasn’t at the top of the list. For some, in the beginning we were just concerned with getting enough of the right foods in, no matter how big a bite or chewing ability. In a few months you’ll still be worried and frazzled at times, but if you take a second and look back on how things used to be, you will feel that the load has (most likely and hopefully) lightened. I’d suggest doing this weekly for the first couple months. You have support here, so take advantage and use it! And tell us all about their cute little selves once you see pics!!!!!!!

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