Yesterday we had a meeting with our oldest daughter’s current therapist to get more information about her and to discuss the upcoming transition. Joel and I, the two social workers, and the therapist all sat down and spoke about our eldest daughter.
Overall, we didn’t learn any new information. After 2 meetings, both taking over an hour each, it is hard to learn any additional information. It feels very much like we are hearing the same information over and over again, but need to go through all of these meetings before we are able to meet the kids. I love having all the knowledge and information I can have about my kids, but at a certain point I just want to meet these children that have grown to take up such a large part in my heart. Now that I know that these kids are MY kids, it feels like something is missing from our home and our family all the time. This is just part of the process, but it is a hard part!
We found out that the biological parents have all voluntarily terminated her rights. The county was going through the process of a termination of parental rights trial for 2 of the 3 biological parents for our kids. The 2 parents decided to voluntarily terminate their rights. This makes things go faster on our end. There will be no appeal, this will not be a legal risk placement, it will be easier to move forward with the adoption process once we get there.
In the meeting we found out that our eldest (man it is getting hard to not use names!) knows that she will be adopted by “strangers”. She was able to describe to her therapist what she wanted in adoptive parents, the adoptive father, and the adoptive mother. I won’t share the specifics here but suffice it to say that she is a very grown up little girl with very doable requests for her new parents. Some of the requests are so normal, so trivial in a family environment it brought tears to my eyes that it was on the top of the list of things that she wanted (and never had) in a family.
The other children do not know yet (as of wednesday) know about the adoption by “strangers” but will soon. On wednesday we gave the social workers transition photo books with pictures of our house, us, and our families to help the kids get to know us better.
We will be meeting with the foster parents tomorrow and I have to say I am most excited for and nervous for this meeting. These are the people that know the most, detailed information about the children from their day to day lives. They know how we can best help them through the transition. They also love these kids so much and have grown so attached to them. They have opened up their homes and lives and hearts to hurting children, knowing full well that they would have to say goodbye at some point. I can feel their hurting in my heart and I ache for them. I hope that we can form a positive relationship with them so they can continue to be a part of our children’s life.
After the foster care meeting, we will be meeting the kids!!! FINALLY! I get to lay eyes on my children. I cannot even begin to tell you how long I have been waiting for that moment. I have been trying to prepare myself to not break down in tears and hug them as meeting new “stranger” parents is probably intimidating enough without one of them appearing off her rocker!
We will be meeting the oldest first, then the other two. The oldest will move in first, and while we continue to have visits with the younger children and they will move in after. We should have all of our kids here by the end of September/beginning of October.
Joel is getting excited. My phone buzzed that it had an email and Joel immediately asked “What’s up?” I told him it was nothing (stupid email from the bank). Joel said that my emails were way more exciting than his emails as my emails get us closer to having kids! 🙂 I can’t wait to be a parent with him.