In 1 hour, 60 minutes, 3,600 seconds, I meet my daughter. So little time until my life is changed so drastically. I have been waiting for this day for longer than I can even remember or count but as this day is finally here I am left with so many emotions floating around that it is hard to know which way is up. I am blissfully excited and humbled to be given this opportunity yet intensely terrified and feeling unprepared for taking on the responsibility of another life form. The only thing closest to this was marriage and I knew should I tap out (not in divorce but in being lazy and not holding up my end of the responsibility bargain) Joel would be just fine, NOT so with kids!
In the end, despite all these intense emotions raging all over my body, they have yet to penetrate my heart, where peace and happiness reign. Since the very moment we heard about these kids I have felt nothing but peace in my heart. In the world of foster care adoptions and we don’t know what you will meet them and legal risk placements and OCD adoptive mom peace is hard to come by. Even now, as my legs can’t stay still (Maggie knows what I am talking about, the car will be shaking the whole way there!), and my pulse is racing, my heart is calm and peaceful. These are my children, she is my daughter. God brought us together.
Today will be one of those moments that splits your life into before this and after this. I have had a few of these before, some good and some bad, some joyful and some heartbreak, but none as wholly life-changing as this!