I haven’t posted in about a week, and WOW has it been a big week in our household. Last I updated, it was Saturday (or at least after Saturday) and we had meet our eldest daughter and also got the spend the whole day Saturday with her. Needless to say, we were very excited, well there was MUCH more to come between then and now!
So on this past Monday, our remaining two kids found out about Joel and I and got the photo book we had made for them. We heard a little bit more from the social workers this time around about their initial reactions beyond just questions. These little ones didn’t have any questions for us, more for the social workers. Our middle child asked why and if they could stay with their foster family. After those questions were answered for her, she (evidently) started to appear excited and began to more earnestly look at the picture book. She even met her foster dad at the door when he got home from work announcing that she was moving and asked if he wanted to see pictures of her new house.
The youngest one was harder to read but refused to put down the book and kept carrying it for a while. We are not sure how much he understands because he asked his foster mom if the house they live in is old and when they were all moving. She (being awesome) explained it all again, but he is young enough where he may not completely understand.
So, as of monday night all of our children (and as you can tell I am getting used to referring to them as my kids, our children and the like) know about us and the upcoming move. One of them had met us and two of them seemed excited to do so.
Tuesday went by in a blur of appointments (at work) and excitement. Wednesday we drove to the foster family’s house to meet the remaining members of our family. It is such an odd experience, meeting 3 of your children in a weeks’ time. There is such different emotions each time around and I found myself judging my emotions. I wanted to experience the same things both time around, but that is just not possible. There is differences based on having done it before and the reaction of the kids, the people there, the foster parents, all these things play a huge role in how the emotions play out. I am beginning to realize that differing emotional reactions for different kids is ok and does not mean you have favorites. That is my worst fear as a mother, to have favorites and voice these favorites to the children. This whole mother thing is new enough in the practicality that I can’t even begin to wrap my head around the emotional side of it!
Anyway, back to the actual meeting of the kids: this meeting was so different in so many ways. Most strikingly there were 2 kids to get to know at the same time as opposed to just one. The kids definitely made their personality clear by the end of the night, just like with our eldest. We broke the initial ice by giving them the presents we had gotten them, little stuffed animals that their foster parents indicated that they would like. The stuffed animals conveniently doubled as balls and Joel and the kids began playing catch. I was soon included too so everyone could laugh at my lack of catching skills (even compared to a 3 year old)! We played, had dinner, and then went to play outside. We dug in dirt, hid from Joel, and Joel and the kids played on the trampoline. It was an awesome night. The little ones are so different from the older daughter. The older kid, 8, is very grown up for her age in some ways and not in others. These two little ones seem like little kids through and through, but with their own stuff to work on. There was much more physical play and less talk (as expected). Joel did an awesome job, even as the middle daughter, 5, sat on his lap and felt his face and his beard for like 5 mins. I laughed so hard when she noted that he had hair in his ears and nose. It was such a young young kid thing to do! I was surprised.
When we left there, they asked when we could see the house and other such questions that were completely appropriate. We told them we would be back the next day, and so would the eldest daughter and her foster mom, for dinner and to play.