After my first weekend as a full-time mom I came to some interesting realizations about myself as a mother and about motherhood in general. Today I will share them!
1. After having slept late and lived for naps, I was so surprised that I actually have tons of energy when I wake up early and go to bed late. Running around and playing with kids wears me out but also, weirdly gives me energy.
2. I am still a heavy sleeper and evidently don’t wake up when kids knock on the bedroom door. We are going to have to tell them to just open the door and jump on the bed to wake me up!
3. While I absolutely love my children, it takes a bit getting used to to have a child pretty much attached to your hip for days on end. I like have a kid, but going from an almost completely independent adult to an attachment figure in an instant.
4. Constant boundary pushing and limit testing is harder than I thought it would be. I also have more of an emotional response to MY kids misbehaving than my clients misbehaving.
5. I have OCD. I knew this before, but it was pretty well controlled. However, when you have OCD and add kids to the mix the OCD thoughts come back full swing. About them getting hurt, them hating you, what people think, ect. However, having gone through OCD treatment I know that feeding into these thoughts and overprotecting the kids would be the wrong way to go. My youngest was nervous about climbing on a playground thing and I encouraged him to climb the whole way to the top, all the while thinking “He is going to fall and break his neck, he is going to do, they will never let me have children then, he will break his head open”. I was so proud of myself that my child had no idea of my anxiety. Despite his lack of initial confidence, my sweet little one made it all the way to the top!!!!
6. My heart is sooooooo full with love! I love seeing Joel parent our children and hugging our kids! I love just sitting and cuddling them.
So far these are the things that I have learned, I know that I will learn MANY more things!