“Mommy”

I have never in my life heard the above word so many times in one day, one hour, or one minute! How I have longed to hear that word. The days and months and years I spent hearing children call someone else “Mommy”, heartbroken that it was not yet my time to hear the word. During those times I wondered who it would be that would call me mommy. Would it be a boy or a girl? How old would the child be? Would we get along good or have to work on our relationship extra hard. What would it be like to wake up each morning to the smiling (or not so smiling) faces of MY children? These are all of the questions that I wondered about. I could not wait for the day that I would be somebody’s “Mommy”. I did everything but wish away the time until I would be a mother.

I have had my whole family together for 6 days now and been a part-time stay at home mom while my husband goes to work for 3 days now. I cannot count the number of times I hear the word “Mommy” in any given hour, let alone any given day. At the beginning my children all seemed to gravitate towards different parents, but now since I am the one home most, I am the one they call for when scared, happy, sad, ect. The only time I don’t hear the word “mommy” is when I am in the shower and that is only because the water and the fan drown out the noise. Even when Joel is home, “mommy” is the word heard much more frequently than “daddy”. I treasure the ability to be a “mommy” to my precious little children (even when they aren’t acting very precious).

Never did I realize that I would be frustrated by the word I so longed to hear, “Mommy”. That I would just want to respond, “Go ask someone else!” That I would long to just go to work! That I would crave some time to simply have an adult conversation that has nothing to do with bedtimes or if someone ate or not or homework.

Today I am leaving the kids with Joel for about an hour to go visit a friend that had a baby over a week ago and I haven’t had a spare minute to visit with her. I simply cannot explain the excitement I feel about this small visit. I did get time to chat with another friend on this past Sunday, but besides that and showering or pooping and hanging out with Joel after the kids are in bed, I have had no Katie time in 4 days. I am desperately needing some.

With kids waking up with nightmares and needing to be held and cuddled I am getting little sleep and for me that leads to headaches/migraines. Parenting while tired and having a headache is exhausting. Joel recommended coffee but I HATE coffee. I think I am going to have to have a stash of caffeine somewhere in the house.

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7 thoughts on ““Mommy”

  1. You get used to the constant exhaustion state of being πŸ™‚
    When they repeat “Mommy, mommy, mommy” I say “that’s my name…dont wear it out”. They laugh hysterically at that.

  2. Wait, they don’t just pop open the door and walk right in when you’re using the toilet or showering??? How’d you do that?! πŸ˜‰ If I remember to lock the door, I get: *bang* *bang* *knob jiggle* *knob jiggle* *bang* *bang* “MOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYYY!!!!!!” Daddy is pretty good at hurrying over and shooing them away, but still… I feel your annoyance. πŸ™‚

    My hubby and I have a standing arrangement that came about after the birth of our 3rd kid: EVERY week I get one night to go out BY MYSELF and every week he gets one night out by himself. It keeps us sane. πŸ™‚

    As for the caffeine, I also hate coffee. Unfortunately, I LOVE Coke (and hate diet soda) so I gained quite a few pounds very quickly at one point until I discovered 5 Hour Energy drinks. They are only 4 calories and the pomegranate flavor tastes like liquid potpourri, but I usually drink them like shooters so I don’t taste them as much and they WORK! When I’ve been breastfeeding all night (or dealing with recurring nightmares) and I have to drive the kids to school or a much anticipated field trip, but my eyelids are threatening to close, the drink can take me from unsafe to drive to safe to drive in a matter of minutes. Of course I have to be careful not to try to look at them as a sleep substitute, but in a crunch…

    • We have had quite a few conversations about boundaries when they moved in since they come from a home with very poor boundaries (to the point of abusive) they all have to ask to go in each others’ rooms and they can all say no (but not to parents as we don’t ask) and only 1 person in the bathroom at a time. We have had a lot of struggles, but thankfully not that one. it was super cute today when we were doing chores and C and P were running back and forth between rooms but stopping to ask each time if they could come in.

      • We always taught our children to knock on doors and then wait for an answer before entering and we gave them the same respect. You don’t knock or “ask” to go into your children’s rooms? And, btw, the Mommy, Mommy, Mommy never goes away…just turns into Mom, Mom, Mom. πŸ™‚

      • We always knock and announce that we are coming in and usually if it is shut we ask if they are changing or want to be alone, but we have kids that are doing the push-pull dynamics of attachment and attempt to parent each other so we have differences for parents vs kids. If they don’t want us in the room I often ask something other than if I can come in, such as “do you want me to rub your back?” or “Can I read you a book?” if they say no to that it is clear they want to be alone, and that lets me know in a way other then the kids not letting us in their room. Does that make sense? I’m not sure if it is making sense to me as I write it.

      • I was just reading over my reply from before and realized I accidentally typed “breastfeeding” instead of “bottle feeding.” To be clear I would never drink that stuff while still breastfeeding.

        Also, I’m curious about the other parents commenting about keeping your kids out of rooms with knocking rules. Are you just telling them “this is the rule”? Because that doesn’t seem to work for us. They’ll remember the next time, but the time after that they are back to barging in. Just curious.

  3. Katie, I’m with you on both counts. Absolutely no kids in the bathroom with me, ever, and none with each other either. Some parents can’t imagine having to get through three (or five in my case) separate showers, but it can be done simply enough. Especially depending on the background of the kids, this privacy boundary is a non-negotiable. Also agree with the room boundaries. No kids get to go in another’s room without permission, but parents go everywhere. We announce before entering but they know we could just come in at any point. It’s good for them to learn that kids and parents are not equals and also helps cut back on them trying to do things in their room that shouldn’t be done (which could be a million things and vary from child to child based on background or even current friends). Anyway just wanted to offer that affirmation.

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