I have never in my life heard the above word so many times in one day, one hour, or one minute! How I have longed to hear that word. The days and months and years I spent hearing children call someone else “Mommy”, heartbroken that it was not yet my time to hear the word. During those times I wondered who it would be that would call me mommy. Would it be a boy or a girl? How old would the child be? Would we get along good or have to work on our relationship extra hard. What would it be like to wake up each morning to the smiling (or not so smiling) faces of MY children? These are all of the questions that I wondered about. I could not wait for the day that I would be somebody’s “Mommy”. I did everything but wish away the time until I would be a mother.
I have had my whole family together for 6 days now and been a part-time stay at home mom while my husband goes to work for 3 days now. I cannot count the number of times I hear the word “Mommy” in any given hour, let alone any given day. At the beginning my children all seemed to gravitate towards different parents, but now since I am the one home most, I am the one they call for when scared, happy, sad, ect. The only time I don’t hear the word “mommy” is when I am in the shower and that is only because the water and the fan drown out the noise. Even when Joel is home, “mommy” is the word heard much more frequently than “daddy”. I treasure the ability to be a “mommy” to my precious little children (even when they aren’t acting very precious).
Never did I realize that I would be frustrated by the word I so longed to hear, “Mommy”. That I would just want to respond, “Go ask someone else!” That I would long to just go to work! That I would crave some time to simply have an adult conversation that has nothing to do with bedtimes or if someone ate or not or homework.
Today I am leaving the kids with Joel for about an hour to go visit a friend that had a baby over a week ago and I haven’t had a spare minute to visit with her. I simply cannot explain the excitement I feel about this small visit. I did get time to chat with another friend on this past Sunday, but besides that and showering or pooping and hanging out with Joel after the kids are in bed, I have had no Katie time in 4 days. I am desperately needing some.
With kids waking up with nightmares and needing to be held and cuddled I am getting little sleep and for me that leads to headaches/migraines. Parenting while tired and having a headache is exhausting. Joel recommended coffee but I HATE coffee. I think I am going to have to have a stash of caffeine somewhere in the house.