I have been thinking about all my kids and how much they have grown since moving in with us a little over 2 months ago and will write a post on each of them. C has been the easiest for me to put into words since I can see her changes in her actions. There are two areas where the growth is abundantly clear: Stranger Danger and Wishes
Stranger Danger: When C came to live with us, she had little to no stranger danger. We literally had a conversation about whose laps you can sit on and whose you can’t. She would hug and cling to anyone that was willing. A couple of Tuesday nights ago we went to a local restaurant that has kids eat free on Tuesdays. We had a great meal and as we were leaving a restaurant worker came up to talk to us and see how we liked our meal. When he was talking to C, she glanced back at me AND stepped closer to me. She was showing me that she was uncomfortable with a stranger and looking towards me for safety. Proud Mama moment!
Wishes: C’s main wish involved where she lives. When she first moved in she would constantly say that she wished she lived somewhere else, the daycare lady’s house, grandma’s house, friend’s houses. You name is and she wanted to live there. We would just let her know that we agreed those places are fun but that she lived with us forever now. Then she spoke about wanting to live with her bio-mom. We reaffirmed how hard it must be and how she must miss her bio-mom but she lived with us forever now. Then it morphed into wanting to visit or talk to bio-mom. We let her know that the judge made some decisions that effect when she can contact bio-mom, basically that she can’t until she is 18 and then we would help her if she wanted. Yesterday I heard the latest wish, that bio-mom could live with “us”. And by “us” she meant her adoptive family. I have to say that this warmed my heart. C is starting to WANT to stay her and feel connected and safe her. There are nights where after I tuck her in, she looks up at me and says “You keep me safe?” I smile at her and respond “Always!” She then smiles and closes her eyes. I feel like, although days are hard and she is a little Katie (not good when talking about good behavior in children!), she is slowly starting to feel like part of a family.
Those are my two favorite examples of the changes I see in C but there are many more. Most notably, she used to scream, kick the wall, slam doors, ect and now those times are rare! I love seeing my middle child grow and become comfortable and seeing her personality blossom.