As I write this I am trying to reign in my obvious anger at S’s current school. Logically I know that there are many kids, many needs to meet, but that doesn’t mean my daughter’s needs are not important.
So here is the issue. If you have any advice I would greatly appreciate it! When S lived with her bio family she missed half of kindergarten and half of first grade. As a result she does not have a lot of that foundational or base knowledge to help her solve higher level problems. She is currently in 3rd grade in a mainstream class at our local public school. She gets pulled out (according to her IEP) for 1 hour of reading and 30 mins of math special education services. The goal of those services are to help teach the grade level information again and in an easier way, NOT to reteach the foundational or base knowledge.
The academics are getting harder and the school professionals are noticing that she is acting out behaviorally (being silly, making fun of others, ect) and have instituted a behavior chart where she has to walk to the front of the classroom to move her marker thing (talk about shaming). She is noticing that others are further along than she is. She is hearing the other kids say that they don’t want to be a reading partner with her bc she takes so long to read. She is hearing kids call her an idiot.
She is starting to feel defeated and not try, as of things are too hard for her and will always be. She is missing a significant amount of base learning and they are trying to teach her new things. Like building a house with only half the foundation done, a pointless idea.
She has repeatedly been asking for me to homeschool her or to repeat 3rd grade. She is saying that things are too hard and she feeling overwhelmed. That too many people are working in too many things (her class does many small groups where each group does a different activity. My daughter is has super high anxiety and is always on alert for danger and too many people doing too many things makes that worse and makes it even harder to focus on the academic work.
This morning we met with her teacher and special ed case manager in addition to myself, her, and the social worker. We asked them about a smaller classroom, not an option they said. We asked about getting taken out for more time to work on basics, she is out as much as she can be they said. We asked about being held back a grade, they only do that when there is no progress made and she is making some progress.
The school’s suggestion was to hire a tutor to work with her individually so he can go back to what she needed to learn. A tutor in the summer and AFTER 8 hours of school that we would pay for.
Call me stubborn but that is a shitty option. I told them about her anxiety and fears of safety and lack of social skills (and how she first can’t try and handle the situation herself like her developmentally peers). They said we need to focus on S and helping her focus on her work and ignore others. That simply will not happen until she feels safe which may be YEARS!!!! I’m not ok letting her fall through the cracks and learn that she is at fault for how far behind she is. Learn the social skills of becoming a bully to prevent others from bullying her. To act silly and distracting to prevent people from seeing how behind she is.
Tips or ideas?