In a lot of says my kids are you average kids, they don’t like chores but love playing. They will come up with brilliant plans to get out of what they don’t want to do. They are loving and kind but pick on each other endlessly (but in more appropriate ways now). If you saw us walking down the isle at Walmart you would have no idea we were not the “normal” family. We are blessed to be able to share our story on our terms, not something all adoptive families have the choice about.
However, there are many ways where the adoption undercurrent comes out. Sometimes in unexpected and brutally truthful ways. I want to share one such story with you, although there are a million more. A million more interactions that give a look behind the mask my children often wear. A million more realizations that my kids have gone through things most adults cannot even fathom. A million more times I am grateful and thankful that God gave me the chance to speak love, truth, consistency and honor into the hearts and minds of these amazing children.
I don’t keep many things from my childhood. I like organization and whatever doesn’t fit into a certain place or plan needs to go. There are a couple things that I have MADE room for though. My moms old guitar, pictures, and the original Nintendo and games my brother and I played on when we were growing up. Recently Joel and I were doing some spring cleaning and found the old Nintendo and decided to set it up downstairs in the playroom with an old tv. The kids LOVE it. There is also an added hand-eye coordination practice that my kids need so much.
Anyway, yesterday C and I were playing 2-player Super Mario Brothers and in a moment of anxiety and frustration she said “Mom, please don’t die. If you die I won’t have any moms left!!!” I paused the game and reminded her that this was just that, a game and no matter what happened in the game I would always be there for her. She said, in heart-breaking honesty, “Ya, I know, but I’m too little I don’t understand!!”
This is how playing video games can bring out abandonment anxiety.