Frustration over levels

So as part of the next step towards finalization, the state evaluated my kids’ level of care to see what ongoing supports (post-finalization) are needed. We are very grateful that we will be able to access continuing supports. However, the level that they rated our kids at was disheartening to say the least. In 2 out of the 3 kids’ level description the following sentence: “The likely alternative would be out-of-home placement”. So the state basically thinks that if my amazingly wonderful kids would not have gotten adopted that they would be in residential treatment. Now this has no bearing on the adoption, just on the supports to be offered after finalization. Somehow seeing that in paper make me sad and angry. I was sad that my kids’ experiences had left them at a point where not only did they need a forever family but where the effects of the experiences were rearing their heads in everyday life. Then I was angry that the state (or someone at the state) saw them like this. How could they think my kids were residential kids? Did they not see S and C playing NICELY together, or the 1 week it has been since P has been aggressive? Can they not see that S is starting to not lie when we ask a question, but instead tells us what is going on? Did they miss how much love and happiness is in our home. I know they know about all the hard things, the accidents, the anger, the safety concerns, the sleepless nights, but if they look only at this they miss out on a HUGE part of my kids.
Soon after we found out about the kids rating, I had a chance to go shopping by myself. We were all supposed to go, but the kids were in no place to go and we wanted them to have a good night so they stayed home with Joel. While shopping some amazing and applicable songs came on. They reminded me that it really doesn’t matter what anyone else says. I say that my kids are making excellent progress. I say that the work we are putting in now is worth it. More importantly, GOD says that my kids have hope and a future. So on the days when doubt, worry, and fear threaten to over take me I just need to relax and remember that God has said that my kids have hope and future. It might not look exactly like what other people, or even myself, think it “should be” but it is hope and future nonetheless.

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One thought on “Frustration over levels

  1. Sometimes it’s good they see your kids this way because they are willing to offer more support. The trick is making sure that the people who actually interact with your kids on a personal level don’t see them like this, but as the wonderful yet challenged little people they are. Honestly I never gave a care what the paperwork said as long as our day to say life was not affected. Those people don’t know your kids, probably never will, and unfortunately many don’t even care. So good choice to put it out of your mind for now. Until it affects your day to day, it probably isn’t a big deal. And yay on a trip to the store alone! Sometimes the frustrating times can end up with peaceful results. I’m home today with one while the rest are out having fun without us. I’m enjoying the time and getting lots done. My kid isn’t so happy, but that’s ok. Perhaps the lesson will stick this time!

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