The Other Side of Happy

This is a post from an amazing blogger friend. She speaks so clearly about the duality of emotions new adoptive parents feel. The happy and sad all mixed together. The excitement and yet the anger and longing for days gone by. The “I would never change this for anything, but can I get 5 fing minutes?” How once these amazing kids come into your life you can’t imagine life without them. Even if they bring locked medicine, social worker visits, 24/7 supervision, and the like with them.

Mostly this post describes how I feel about sharing the more difficult parts of life. To explain that I can be so tired, so happy, and so sad all at the same time. I imagine that most new parents feel this way, but I feel like as an adoptive parent my right to complain is less since I was “trained” and “prepared” yet still am floundering at times. I am going to try to lean on my support system (outside of Joel and one or 2 friends) more openly and honestly. I KNOW there are people that care and are there for me, I just need to reach out. Sometimes though, reaching out takes energy that you don’t have at the end of the day.

AdoptiveBlackMom

So, yes, I’m happy. I am. I’m screaming happiness. Just screaming it! So happy. So stinking happy.

super-happy-dance-smiley-emoticon

And I plaster that poop-eating, heel-clicking grin on anytime someone asks, because really, let’s not kid ourselves, no one really wants to hear about the other side of happy when so many great things are happening in your life.  #tripsondenialriverforeveryone

So, I’m so overwhelmed that there’s a part of me that is just miserable and empty in spite of all of the happy, and I really am happy.  I wasn’t lying about that.

I marvel at how all these feelings can just coexist.  The duality of emotions on this journey will forever stun me.  #getsmeeverytime

So much has happened in my life in the last four years, the last two years, the last 18 months, the last 4 months, the last month. In fact the last month represents the time when so many…

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2 thoughts on “The Other Side of Happy

  1. Oh wow! Thanks for the reblog and the validation that what I’m feeling is a shared experience with other adoptive parents. Sometimes you wonder if it just you feeling the feelings.

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