Oh the school meeting. I have been avoiding writing about this because it made me so upset. It is the most helpless feeling to believe that you know what is going on with your kids and knowing what you WANT to do to fix it and then having the people who can actually do something NOT DO ANYTHING!
So here is the issue, S has been having an increasingly difficult time with school. She comes home all amped up for a horrible night. She tells me that lunch and recess are hard and she never wants to go back. That kids are mean and the work is too hard. So I ask some questions, sometimes of her and sometimes of her teachers. The answers I got made me concerned so I called an IEP meeting. S currently has an IEP for reading and math and writing learning disabilities. At the meeting S had a written up list of what would help her (just normal things, like give me work I can do, help me with peer relationships, ext) and her SW and I were there to help fight for her.
OK, before I talk about how the meeting went I should probably share that when I get super angry, I cry. There is little I can do to prevent it. So at the meeting S and I started by telling people what was hard. How my NOT neuro-typical kid cannot be expected to attempt to sole problems with her peers BY HERSELF BEFORE the teacher steps in. And if that is expected, why is she getting in trouble for doing so in the only way she knows how to handle anything? That my kid needs to learn addition and subtraction before doing advanced level multiplication (80×25=?). That 26 kids doing 26 different things doing “quiet time” or “free choice time” is not conducive to her actually getting stuff done. That sending her to a room by herself (no adult supervision) when she is being naughty and then being super surprised if she steals or destroys things in THEIR fault NOT hers.
The school staff seemed unable to comprehend that we were trying to change their perspective from “won’t” to “can’t”. There are just some things that S CAN’T do right now that may get better, and some things that she may never be able to do. The meeting went horribly the teachers act surprised that S was telling me that things were hard when at school she doesn’t say anything like that (um…safety maybe?). We ended up getting nowhere. However, after the read the letters I brought from the dr and the therapist they called and said they where starting lunches with a teacher 2 days a week and sensory breaks twice a day, but that was all. They suggested I hire a tutor for the school work concerns and that S needed to learn how to get along with her peers. They said they didn’t want to take away homework or make her feel excluded or different. UGG, angry tears just flowed. It was so frustrating.
Recently though we have reason to feel hopeful and that reason comes in the form of a neuropsych test.