You can tell that Skye (yes I can use whole names now that the adoption is final!!) is really thinking over relationships due to the conversations we have had the past couple days. Last night after Cayla and Preston were in bed she looked at me and said “You know you guys are perfect for each other” she went on to say how Joel and I respect each other, love each other and never disagree. I had to stop myself from laughing at that last one. Man do we ever disagree! I told Skye that Joel and I actually disagree a lot, but we love and trust each other and try and talk through the disagreements with respect. “Ya, you trust each other” is what she said.
Then today while at the park she came to ask me why I wear Joel’s clothes sometimes. I told her they were pretty comfortable and sometimes I miss him and want to smell like him (I know, I know, gag now). She said that was weird and I told her she would understand someday. She immediately proclaimed that she was never getting married and I said you can miss people your not married to (mom, dad, dogs, ect). She went on to say that she never wanted to get married because she couldn’t find a guy that (remember the conversation from last night) loved her, trusted her, respected her, ect. I told her that there were guys out there, just like Joel, that would do all of those things.
She looked at me and said “but how do I know if it is a good guy?” I told her that was what dating was for, to begin to see the real person but also that there were some ways to tell. Does he do what he says he will? Does he treat others (mom, waitresses, bank tellers) with respect? Skye stared at me with eyes too old for her 9 year old face and said “But what if he is lying?” Wow, I was so not ready for this type of in depth talks for a couple more years but it makes sense. I said that if she wasn’t sure brig him to me and I would tell her. Actually I think I said if he was lying I would kick him out of our house.
This week has been trying and intense with adoption day and family visiting and school starting soon, but I am seeing the pieces of my family fitting more together every day